I really don’t know what I’ll do if Emily and I ever stop being friends.

I mean, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that never happens, but so many of my closest friends have turned into just memories, people I never see any more, who I barely think about, and I’m terrified that I’m going to fuck everything up again and then she’ll be gone and she’ll just be another one on that list of names that I try to forget but they keep coming back as reminders of my mistakes.

She’s my best friend, and she’s helped me through so much, saved me so many times, and I can’t even begin to imagine what life would be like if she wasn’t there all the time like she is now.

She’s nothing like anyone I’ve ever known before - she’s amazing, she’s perfect, maybe she doesn’t believe it herself but she really is, and I want her and everyone else to know that she’s my best friend for a reason.

I may not even know myself what that reason is, but it must be something pretty massive, because I don’t trust people easily but somehow I knew almost straight away that we were going to be friends, and now we are.

We’ve known each for over a year now, and I sometimes I still find myself wondering why she hasn’t run away yet.